Gothic Promise Rings and What They Symbolize in a Relationship - Black Diamonds New York

Gothic Promise Rings and What They Symbolize in a Relationship

When relationships start to get a little serious, but before you’re ready to propose, you might start considering giving your partner a promise ring. Giving a promise ring to your partner isn’t a common practice these days, and some people may not know the full scope of what they’re promising. How do you pick a promise ring for your partner? Do you get a ring too? Are you supposed to get down on one knee? What are you even supposed to say? Let’s go through all of this so that you can pick an excellent promise ring and be ready to present it to your partner. 

What Are Promise Rings?

Promise rings are not a required step in a relationship, but some people decide they want to use promise rings. When you choose to use a promise ring, there are some things you need to know about your partner. For example, if your partner enjoys the gothic aesthetic, you may want to look at gothic promise rings. Promise rings are rings that you give to your partner to show them you intend to, in the future, propose and marry them. Many people give promise rings away when they’re in school or college together. It’s less common to pass promise rings to one another after leaving school, but some people do decide to. 

Promise Ring Symbolization

The promise ring is an incredibly symbolic ring that shows your intentions toward your partner outright. Promise rings are often given some time before an engagement ring and are similarly symbolic to an engagement ring. A promise ring is the physical symbol of a direct promise to be committed to your partner. This can include engagement, marriage, and a continued life afterward. Promise rings are usually taken very seriously by those that present and accept the promise ring. Even gothic promise rings aren’t used very much in today’s society, making it difficult to find information about how to prepare and present a promise ring, but what finger should you wear one on?

What Finger For Promise Rings?

Promise rings, like engagement rings, should be worn on the ring finger of your left hand regardless if you prefer gothic promise rings or other styles. This is where most people will look to see if you’re in a serious relationship when they approach you and where it’s expected to show off a promise ring should you get one. Wearing a promise ring on this finger shows everyone you’re taken and that your partner is essential to you and takes things seriously with you. 

Common Things to Say

When you move to present your chosen promise ring to your partner, there are a variety of things you should say. Of course, don’t say the standard ‘Will you marry me’ that is saved for engagement rings. Feel free to say something else that is touching, though, profess your love to them, tell them your intentions, and present the ring to them. This is standard practice for a promise ring, but there is no traditional thing you should say. Unlike asking your partner to marry you, there is a lot more wiggle room to work with when deciding what you should say. 

Getting on One Knee

If you want to get on one knee, you can, but there is a chance your partner may misunderstand what you’re doing if you do this. They may think you’re directly proposing, and depending on where you are in your relationship; they may not be ready for that step. That’s why it isn’t suggested that you get on one knee to present a promise ring. You still can if you want to, it is a significant promise; keep in mind that if you do, it may be misinterpreted as a direct proposal. 

One or Both?

Should you have one ring, or should you both get one? This decision is completely up to you. Some people believe that only one person should get the ring, and others believe that both people should get rings when they get promise rings or engagement rings. It’s your decision if you want to both wear rings or not, and you shouldn’t feel persuaded either way. It’s a personal choice and decision, and if you want to both have rings, you should both get them. If you want to give a ring to your partner you can do that too. There is no set standard for promise rings. 

Giving the Promise Ring - Time

You shouldn’t give someone a promise ring before a second anniversary together unless you’re out of school. If you do, it can be a little early, and you may be jumping the gun a little. It can make your partner uncomfortable if you give them any of the gothic promise rings too early. After two years, though, it is an appropriate time to present a promise ring should you want to continue the relationship. Take the time you need to pick the right ring and prepare the way you want to present it to your partner to help make it special. 

How Long Before Proposal?

After your partner has accepted the promise ring, it is standard practice to wait another year or two before actually proposing with an engagement ring. This gives you and your partner plenty of time to arrange your lives and ensure that you two are compatible. Not everyone chooses to use a promise ring before popping the question a few years later, but if you decide to, you should be prepared for this to be a long-term commitment toward your partner. Giving your partner a promise ring and promising to marry them isn’t something to take lightly.

Different Promise Ring Designs

Different promise rings have different designs to them, and when you’re choosing a promise ring, you should take into account your partner’s interests. For example, if they are into the gothic aesthetic, they may appreciate gothic promise rings more than a standard promise ring. By taking into consideration the things your partner enjoys in general, you can be sure that they will feel loved and appreciated when you present the promise ring to them. Take into consideration if they like certain animals, their favorite stone, and their general aesthetic to pick the right promise ring for you and your partner. 

Black Promise Rings

Black promise rings are beautiful, especially when you’re interested in potentially looking into gothic promise rings for yourself and your partner. These promise rings are physically black; the bands are perfect for someone who prefers the gothic aesthetic. Pair these dark bands with any kind of stone you choose, but dark red, blue, or diamond-like stones would be fantastic stones to set into a dark band like this. The right gothic aesthetic can be hard to find, but thankfully, gothic promise rings bring the right aesthetic to the table and help you meet your partner’s interests. 

Matching Promise Ring Designs

Another option besides gothic promise rings that you might want to consider if you decide to both get promise rings is matching rings. Matching rings are usually made together and linked together in some way. Some have half of a heart on each half of the band; others have initials carved into the inside of the band. Regardless of your choices, this is a unique option that your partner might like. Matching designs can be a great way to show your partner that you’re committed to them and want to be with them going forward. It shows that you are dedicated to showing others you have taken. 


Choosing colors is going to be just as important as choosing the design. For example, if your partner hates red, getting a ruby will be a bad decision overall. Take into account the colors your partner likes and dislikes to ensure you don’t get a promise ring that they may dislike. Colors are incredibly important; make sure that the colors of the stone and band you choose don’t clash and that the colors you choose are colors that your partner will like. This ring is going to be a ring they wear for a few years, so they’re going to want it to be something that they will enjoy. 


Designs will also be incredibly important to your partner when you get a promise ring for them; if they’re into bats and you get them a promise ring with flowers on it, they may not like it much. The design you pick should be something they enjoy, but it could also be something you both enjoy in the long run. Then there is a chance that you both will be able to have a great experience with the promise ring. 

Simplicity vs. Complexity

Another decision you’re going to have to make when choosing a promise ring is if you’re going to buy a ring that is simplistic or complex. Both have pros and cons which are going to depend on your needs. A simple promise ring will be a band, which may have a minor design and a stone. If you’re looking at gothic promise rings, you may look at black bands with red or blue stones like rubies or sapphires. A more complex design would have intricate additions to the band or an array of stones in a pattern. 

Gold or Silver

Gold and silver bands are some of the options you have outside of the black bands. Either band choice is going to be an excellent decision, but consider the style and stones you’ve chosen for whatever gothic promise rings you might be interested in. If you don’t want to choose a black band, these two options are your most common options otherwise. Most rings, regardless of if they are promise rings or engagement rings, are made with gold or silver bands, and it would be expected that if you don’t choose black, you’ll pick one of these two colors instead. 


One thing that is easy to incorporate into your gothic promise rings is snakes. If your partner enjoys snakes, incorporating them into your promise ring would be a good idea. Snakes can wrap around the band or the stone you choose. They can also hold up the stone with their heads, giving you many options for incorporating snakes into your promise ring. Thankfully, snakes aren’t the only thing you can include in a promise ring; let’s consider a few other things before you make your final decisions on your promise ring. 


Skulls are another addition you can include into gothic promise rings, much like how you can include snakes in different ways. The different kinds of skulls available, which can be animal or human-shaped, can also be framed around the main stone. It’s also common to see skulls framed with small flowers that rest around the stone. It’s easy to incorporate skulls into a promise ring, making them unique, beautiful, and elegant with a gothic flare that is sure to impress anyone who relates with and enjoys the gothic aesthetic at heart. 

Leaves or Twigs

When you’re interested in gothic promise rings and getting a gothic promise ring for someone you love, it can be hard to find the right promise ring. Using a black band that’s designed with a leaf or twig style is a beautiful gothic design that is rarely used, especially in promise rings. This kind of design pairs up the eerily beautiful gothic aesthetic with the natural beauty of a more naturally designed ring. If you have a partner who prefers a gothic aesthetic but also loves natural things and being out in nature, picking a promise ring that incorporates both things is an excellent idea. 


Obsidian is one of many excellent stones to include in gothic promise rings because of how deep the color black is in obsidian. Obsidian is a jet black stone that can be sharp when not properly tumbled and prepared, but if your partner is interested in the gothic aesthetic, they might appreciate the darkness of this stone, especially when framed with a lighter-colored band. You could also use obsidian on a dark band so long as something, like a small row of another colored stone, to visually separate the obsidian and the band. 


Rubies are a deep red color, almost the color of a dark red rose. Stones in this dark red color are quite appealing to those interested in the gothic aesthetic, especially if they’re set in dark bands with other gothic additions. Rubies are a beautiful stone that catches the light just right and can be quite beautiful. All of this makes rubies a great potential option if you’re looking for gothic promise rings for your partner. Consider if they like the color red, though; if they don’t like the color red may be one of the below stones that would be better for them. 


If your partner likes the color purple, an amethyst stone might be the best option when you’re looking for gothic promise rings for them. Amethyst can range in hues with different levels of purple, some are lighter, almost a lavender color, and others are a very dark violet color. Regardless of the color of purple your partner might like, you can likely find an amethyst stone that will work well with a promise ring for your partner. The deep purple of amethyst is an unmistakable stone that your partner just might adore.


Sapphires are a stone that usually has a deep dark blue color, much like the depths of the ocean. This dark blue stone comes alive when the light hits it, making it a fantastic option for anyone who enjoys a gothic aesthetic if they also adore the color blue. Blue and black go together exceptionally well, making a ring with a black band, interesting designs, and a sapphire stone an excellent choice for a promise ring for your partner. Finding the right stone and band combination can be difficult, but with a sapphire, it’s hard to go wrong. 

Black Diamonds

If your partner prefers diamonds, you can always work the previous ideas in reverse; instead of having a black band, use black diamonds instead and work with a silver band. Regardless of the color of the band you use, you’ll be able to incorporate any interesting designs you would prefer. These designs include the skulls, twigs, leaves, and snakes we already talked about. This combination of a light band with a dark stone still has a deep gothic aesthetic for those looking for gothic promise rings while also ensuring it can blend well in day-to-day life. 

One Stone Bands

Some promise rings have multiple stones, and some just have one. One stone bands are quite common for promise rings. These bands are usually incredibly simple with little to no additional design; you can then get a stone of your choice placed upon the band, allowing you to choose the stone your partner would most likely desire. Using a one-stone band is an excellent way to make a simple ring for you and your partner, especially if they appreciate the simpler things of life. Take your time to pick out the stone for this ring, though, as it will be the only stone if this is the design you pick. 

Crafted Band Designs

Crafted designs on bands can come in multiple different shapes and sizes; you can include swirls, flowers, arches, split designs, and so much more. Each of these separate designs makes the promise ring even more unique, showing your partner how much you care for them. Using any of these designs doesn’t limit your ability to pick a stone or color, as they will be placed upon the band directly to help them stand out from the smoothness of the ring itself. Think about any additional designs you may want to place on a band and think about how they may compliment the stone you choose. 

Using Multiple Stones

Using multiple stones is also a great potential option for people who are looking for gothic promise rings that stun and wow their family and friends. Using multiple stones is a great way to frame dark stones that rest against dark bands and to include multiple kinds of stones that have sentimental meaning. Using multiple stones in a promise ring can be a great way to incorporate a birthstone into a promise ring as well; the limits really are only up to your imagination. 

Character Focused Rings

Many people who enjoy the gothic aesthetic relate to specific characters in specific shows. This ability to relate to these characters is something you should take into account when you’re thinking about getting a promise ring. Promise rings are incredibly important to couples when they decide to use them, and if you are able to get a promise ring with a character that your partner enjoys deeply, you’re sure to wow them with the ring. Some of these characters are well known, and some of them aren’t, but so long as your partner enjoys them, getting a promise ring focused on the character may be a fantastic idea.

The Promise Your Making

When you prepare and present a promise ring to your significant other, it’s important to keep in mind the promise you’re making to them, which they are in turn reciprocating. You’re promising that one day you intend to marry them, making them your partner from then on. This promise ring is going to be the physical representation of your dedication to your relationship. Make sure that it takes your partner’s interest into consideration and that you don’t intentionally avoid anything that your partner may have genuinely loved otherwise. You’re promising your partner your life, and upon acceptance, they are promising you theirs. 

When you’re looking into gothic promise rings, there are a lot of things to take into consideration. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about getting a promise ring for your partner, we can help. Here at Black Diamonds New York, we know our rings, and we can help you pick a promise ring that will wow your partner. If you’re looking for a unique promise ring for your partner but don’t know where to start, feel free to reach out to us today so we can help you make the promise of a lifetime with your partner. 

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